FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| LucienofShadow 2008-02-24 ch 1,   | 'that I did not receive an invitation to.' Interrupts the flow. It's alright to let us wonder why your character isn't at the party. Now, I'm not entirely sure if I understand the explanation given, but then again I'm not sure if I'm supposed to. The thing you did best in this story was the build up. From one thing to another, each seeming slightly closer, more imminent than the last. Then the final release. Overall a job well done. Thank you. -Lucien, from the Review Marathon (link is in profile) |